Poem: Hidden

unselfconsciousness

sweet aura of invisibility

not pleasingly plump or chubby, or big boned

but morbidly obese
the kind of person you avert your eyes from

I treasured that
no one looking at me

it didn’t matter what I wore
from the moment the world saw me they held me in contempt

it was satisfying

that I was so successful despite it
that my husband found me beautiful because of it

he loved the fullness of me

the curves and lushness
of my softness

my daughter liked my hugs better

they just felt more huggier
she says
when you were bigger

Venti Caramel Macchiato Breves three times a day
and dessert without a trace of guilt

Lane Bryant and the secret camaraderie
of the fat girl sisterhood

Sometimes I miss that

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